Just a little Faith...

“It’s lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believe in myself.” – Muhammad Ali

While talking to @slorunnermom last week she said something to me that just really hit home and was an a-ha moment for me. We were talking about running and I was asking her professional opinion about races and such. The whole story isn’t really important – so let me get to the chase of what she said to me. She said “this is your journey” - such simple words but yet so true and something I never really thought about in that exact light. I try to keep up or compete or whatever it is with everybody out there. This is my journey, I need to do this my way. I think the biggest part of this journey for me is learning to believe in myself. I have all the confidence in the world until it comes to things that center around my weight and then it just takes a big ol’ nose dive. I could go into some of the reason I think this is true, however, are they really important? I guess they are important if I chose to focus on them, but I’m not going to give those reasons anymore energy. I have a lot going for me and I need to believe in myself, believe that I deserve to be healthy and fit and that I have the strength to do way more than I ever thought possible. Which leads me to Saturday. (May 1, 2010).

I had the May calendar out on Friday and I looked things over, mapped out a brief schedule and goals that I wanted to achieve for the month. I wrote in on Monday, May 31 I was going to walk the loop at Burke Lake. I go to Burke Lake and walk quite often but I wanted to walk all the way around by the end of the month. I figured with a great month of workouts under my belt I would be able to make it around with no problem. The full loop is 5 miles. Well…..guess what? On Saturday MAY 1 – I walked it! I was so proud of myself. It wasn’t all that hard either, I will be the first to admit I didn’t break any records but I did it! SOOOO…now I have a goal to do it every Saturday and to just better my time. On Saturday I got off the beaten path and had to go over trees, under trees, across swampy area – so next time I plan on staying on the trail. At one point I went under a tree and stood up WAY too soon and nailed the heck out of my left shoulder. I have a nice little bruise there. I am pretty graceful so I wasn’t all that surprised. I was just happy I didn’t fall in the muddy swampy area.

If I had let my mind take over I would have talked myself out of it on Saturday, I would have reasoned with myself and told myself it was too far and what if I had gotten half way around and couldn’t make it back? I would have sabotaged myself. I am done sabotaging myself, it is such bullshit. Life is passing me by and I have a lot of living I want to do. I have goals and dreams and I deserve it all. I am ready to live the life that I create!