{ALL} for a Better Life

Head in the game...

2010-07-13T08:13:00.001-07:00

I have been blessed the last month with 2 kick ass vacations! I have spent time with friends, I have seen parts of the United States I have never seen before and made some great memories. With all that said my healthy lifestyle has paid the price. I did okay on vacation #1, I held my own and came out in the end with a loss. Vacation #2 is a different story. I had such high hopes for the week and truly had NO reason to not be in better control over my choices and actions. I just tanked all my plans. I didn’t hardly workout, I ate ice cream, I ate breads and pasta, and I drank alcohol. Those darn power hours in the pool will getcha EVERYTIME!

In the past I would beat myself up over it – I am actually okay with my week. Yes, I gained but hell I had fun!!! NOW…the hard part is getting back in the game. When I say I took off last week, I mean I took off. I had VERY limited cell phone service, I didn’t log into the computer, I didn’t log my food and I hardly wore my body bugg. I was on true R & R! Again, I am okay with all of this but now I am back to reality and I am struggling to get my head back in the game.

I do know this: I have 4 lbs. to get off this week. I have weigh in next Tuesday and I have to be 4 lbs. (secretly would like more) to get off my body. I know that in order for this to happen I need to get my butt moving and my diet has to be on point. My diet is not an issue but getting my body moving is a mental struggle. I don’t know why this is, I feel better after I do it. This is such a mental journey – our minds are so damn powerful!

I figured if I put forth a game plan here and checked back here and had others hold me accountable, I may just not struggle so darn much.

*1200-1400 calorie diet everyday
*8000-10,000 steps a day
*Workout everyday – I have things to do Tues and Wed. evening but I need to get up those mornings at 4:30 so I can get a workout in before work. I need to figure out what I need/want my calorie burn to be at on the bugg. I would love to reach 3,000 calories burned but damn it is hard and I haven’t figured out what all I have to do to reach that yet!

5 Things Friday

2010-06-25T11:59:00.000-07:00

Hmmm, this may be fun! 5 random things you may not know about me. Anybody that does know me, knows that I am ALL ABOUT THE RANDOM!

1. I love my friends like family.

2. When meeting a guy (like date worthy) I always look at this ears. If he doesn't clean his ears, he doesn't clean other things... :)

3. I love the beach.

4. I'm a hotel snob.

5. I love roadtrips!

Also, check out me and Mo's post at Skinny Scooper's.

Body Image...

2010-06-06T17:19:00.001-07:00

Today was a random day of a little of this and a little of that. I went to the store today and started talking to the owner - she is a cute thing, about the same age as me. I am not sure how we got on the topic of working out but she asked me where I worked out. She said she went to the same gym but that she was super intimidated. She mentioned the muscle heads and all the super cutesy girls who are ultra fit. It made me think because quite honestly I never t hought about it too much but I thought she would be one of "those" girls. She was telling me how she doesn't like to go alone and that she has horrible body issues, etc. Don't get me wrong - I am self conscience. I am intimidated by the classes (failure to keep up) but as far as walking in there and working out - I don't give to shits what everybody thinks. Yeah, so I'm the fat girl working out - so what! I told her the same thing.

It just got me thinking that it doesn't matter what size you are, how long your hair is, how fit you are, how many friends you have, etc. Our minds are wicked powerful and can truly distort reality. I have had several people as of late say to me "I wish you would see yourself, the way that I see you..." That is super powerful and kind of hurts my head a little bit when I think about it too much, but I hope through the process of this journey to fitness and weight loss I am able to obtain that clear picture that others see of me.

Do you see yourself the way that others see you?

Exciting stuff...

2010-06-04T05:42:00.000-07:00

I have some exciting stuff to share but I don't want to put too much up here because I am moving! My new home should be ready soon thanks to Mr. Nomorebacon!

Mo and I have been chosen!!! For what you say? Go check it out over here at SkinnyScoopers - now that is some exciting stuff if I do say so myself. I will be blogging over there once a week and trying to keep up here (well not here, but at my new home) as well more frequently. I think the next 24 weeks is going to be exciting. I think that documenting it and be consistent with everything will bring great things.

June 1...WHOA!

2010-06-01T11:42:00.001-07:00

I can't believe it is June 1! I know you have heard it from people around, where has the time gone? I swear time is flying. I had a great weekend with some great folks. Saw some great movies (my favorite), shared some giggles, pool time, shopping, eating - good stuff! Having a new month just seems like such a fresh start - it really isn't but it seems like that, so I am going to run with it.

This week is going to be crazy busy since I have to work at the second gig 3 days and I am leaving on vacation next Wed. evening. I am going to try to stay focused on working out, eating clean and just doing the right thing and not stressing about anything. I am feeling good about my choices and what not. I wish the weight was coming off quicker but I also know that I have been making progress and I worked out hard everyday last week. Sunday was my only not so great workout day, but I still did something and that is a victory if you ask me.

I mentioned that this weekend we went to the movies - I also mentioned that the movies is one of my favorite things to do. Funny thing is I am not a huge fan of movies at home simply because I can find 1 million other things to do PLUS if I sit still too long I fall asleep. I prefer to go to the movies early in the day and I prefer to go solo. I know that is WAY weird...but I like it. Kelly said it best this weekend - "I don't mind going to the movies with you guys but that is because everybody know's the rules!" LOL We say "Just Wright" with Queen Latifah and Common. It was cute, not award winning but cute. "Sex in the City 2", it was okay. Some funny parts and I love the girls from Sex in the City and I love me some Mr. Big but the movie overall was just okay. We also saw, "Letters by Juliette" - again cute story. Predictable but how can you not love a love story? All the movies prompted some interesting dinner conversations - as good of friends as we have been through the years it was funny to hear the conversations and the different opinions. The concensus was made that I am like Carrie with a little bit of Charlotte, if you haven't seen Sex in the City you have no idea what I am talking about if you have seen it - I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

All that talk about movies makes me think about one of my all time favorite movies...I am a sucker for a dumb comedy, I love them but sometimes a girl just wants an old romantic movie. "The Notebook" does that for me. I love the story, the old love, the for better or worse...it makes me cry, laugh, and daydream. One day I hope to have somebody love me like Noah!

I always kid with my friends that the damn movies screw up life for us - because we always have unrealistic expectations but I think no matter what I will always be a hopeless romantic.

What is your favorite movie and why?

Compassion...

2010-05-28T08:42:00.001-07:00

This week has been a strong week. I have logged many hours in the gym and I have recorded my food and stayed consistent with it all. I feel strong. Strong is a good place to be! I am going into June with a feeling of accomplishment and tremendous strength. The scale is cooperating a little, but not like it should and that is okay right now. I am making good choices and I know if I continue to make good choices good things will come.

Anybody that knows me knows that I am random – so you can appreciate this. One day while I was at the gym I had Oprah on the t.v. I couldn’t hear the t.v. because I was rockin’ out to my tunes but I could see the images. From what I gathered her designer for years (whom I met a few years back – cool guy) was leaving. I guess he really has no choice because Oprah’s show is ending, but like I said I couldn’t hear the show so I really don’t know, but it is neither here nor there. WOW, I just went off on that – let me regroup and get back to my point (yeah, there was a point).

They were showing clips of Nate through his years on the show. For those of you that don’t know Nate lost his partner in the Tsunami of 2004 and his life understandably so was forever changed. While watching these clips I saw him hugging some victims from Hurricane Katrina and even though I didn’t know why he was there, and I couldn’t hear the words being exchanged I saw the raw emotions, I saw the action. The love and compassion exchanged was intense. It wasn’t just a friendly pat on the back it was a hug you with every ounce of love I have - and it just really touched me. It made me think.

All too often we are rushing through our lives and we as a society are conditioned to not care about people too much and especially not strangers. I consider myself pretty compassionate, however, I fall into this rut as well. I hope to work on this and truly try to have more compassion for mankind.

I am very blessed with a great group of people around me. I have some of the best friends a girl could ever ask for and just recently I have met (and still getting to know) some of the most amazing group of ladies. I am proud to call each of them my friends and further more I am overwhelmed with gratitude for being chosen for them to be a part of MY life. I don’t know what I did to deserve such greatness around me! Not really sure where this post was going, but just a reminder to be gentle with your judgments – you don’t know where the person next you has been, but you may just be able to make a difference of where they are going.

To receive great things, we must give great things! I believe that deeply!

Sunday Blues

2010-05-23T17:01:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what my issue is but today I woke up with a huge case of feel sorries for myself. I know this too shall past but today it feels like it is the worst feeling ever and if I am being honest, I can't wait for today to be over. I have to wake up in a better mood tomorrow!

ENOUGH OF THAT TALK!

I was telling a friend the other day that I was feeling strong. I was starting to feel like an athlete again. Lifting has inspired those feelings. I am looking forward to working out and doing some more lifting this week. I will definitely be recording those results and feelings.

I really thought I had a bunch to say when I sat down to blog and I just realized I don't! BAH HA

This week I am looking forward to good choices, strong workouts, SATC 2, time with the girls, Biggest Loser finale! What are you looking forward to this week?

Today is brought to you by the letter "A"!

2010-05-19T09:51:00.000-07:00

I just had to blog about this before I forgot it. (my memory is pretty ...well yeah, it sucks)!

Lunchtime - I had a taco salad to make but I have had that the last 2 days and I just wasn't feeling it so I had some casserole that a coworker made for us. It had pasta, broccoli and cheese and there was some sausage pieces in it but I picked those out. At any rate it was good but not very filling - I wanted more. I knew the casserole was not the healthiest so I limited how much I took. It went like this...

Placed my $1.00 in the vending machine - pushed the button to get my money back. A coworker walks in and says -"need change?" I said, "no, I'm talking myself out of eating junk."

I come back to my desk and I have some popcorn, but it is old but I figured I will give it a shot. I popped it, put in a bowl - tasted it and it was NASTAY! Threw it away, washed the bowl. Went back to the vending machine and just looked. There were pringles, pretzels, pop tarts, oreos, Snickers, m&m's -- long story short NO HEALTHY snacks.

Dang, I'm still hungry! I found an apple (a friend that was not here today - I stole it) and I had some peanut butter. BOOYAH! A healthy snack, filling and YUMMAY!!!

I was proud of myself, because honestly in the past I would not have thought about it - if I was hungry I would have just rationalized how I would workout harder or make up for it later.

Day 1 - May 16, 2010

2010-05-16T15:49:00.001-07:00

Okay, so this isn't really my first day like the Subject of this post suggests. However, it is the first day of trying something new. I am going to try to blog more! I am going to try to use this more of a journal of my most inner thoughts/feelings through this journey of self discovery. This is more than a weight loss journey, so much more and I feel like I just need to get some stuff out and not bottled up inside. This may not always be exciting or earth shattering but it going to be honest, and raw.

I have been having some issues with my back - lower back/upper ass. I'm not sure what it is exactly but whatever it is, I am not liking it too much. As I sit here and type this entry it feels pretty good (shhh....). Okay, where was I? Oh yeah, my day! I woke up and truly didn't feel like walking or working out today but I had promised my friend I would meet her so I had to go. Having this committment was actually a good thing because I probably would have talked myself out of it. I hit Bull Run Battlefield and walked the 3 + mile loop. The hill still kicks my butt but one day I will go up that thing not being short of breath. I will!! I typically go alone on these walks but this morning I had company so we went on the path through the woods. I was a little ahead of my friend and I spooked the crap out of myself. I looked up and about 10 feet up in the air in the arm of a tree was this huge ass owl. I swear he was staring at me and willing me to come closer. I realize I was in the woods and seeing an owl shouldn't have been that big of a deal but it was just so big, bold, strong, and beautiful - right there. Larger than life. I left my phone in the car since I had company but I really wish I had my phone so that I could take a pic. I stood there for a few min. and even watched him move his head around. Very cool.

I felt strong today after going for my walk. I have finally gotten to the point in my journey where I am craving my workouts and it is getting harder to talk myself out of them.

love and peace,
me

Just a little Faith...

2010-05-04T06:49:00.001-07:00

“It’s lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believe in myself.” – Muhammad Ali

While talking to @slorunnermom last week she said something to me that just really hit home and was an a-ha moment for me. We were talking about running and I was asking her professional opinion about races and such. The whole story isn’t really important – so let me get to the chase of what she said to me. She said “this is your journey” - such simple words but yet so true and something I never really thought about in that exact light. I try to keep up or compete or whatever it is with everybody out there. This is my journey, I need to do this my way. I think the biggest part of this journey for me is learning to believe in myself. I have all the confidence in the world until it comes to things that center around my weight and then it just takes a big ol’ nose dive. I could go into some of the reason I think this is true, however, are they really important? I guess they are important if I chose to focus on them, but I’m not going to give those reasons anymore energy. I have a lot going for me and I need to believe in myself, believe that I deserve to be healthy and fit and that I have the strength to do way more than I ever thought possible. Which leads me to Saturday. (May 1, 2010).

I had the May calendar out on Friday and I looked things over, mapped out a brief schedule and goals that I wanted to achieve for the month. I wrote in on Monday, May 31 I was going to walk the loop at Burke Lake. I go to Burke Lake and walk quite often but I wanted to walk all the way around by the end of the month. I figured with a great month of workouts under my belt I would be able to make it around with no problem. The full loop is 5 miles. Well…..guess what? On Saturday MAY 1 – I walked it! I was so proud of myself. It wasn’t all that hard either, I will be the first to admit I didn’t break any records but I did it! SOOOO…now I have a goal to do it every Saturday and to just better my time. On Saturday I got off the beaten path and had to go over trees, under trees, across swampy area – so next time I plan on staying on the trail. At one point I went under a tree and stood up WAY too soon and nailed the heck out of my left shoulder. I have a nice little bruise there. I am pretty graceful so I wasn’t all that surprised. I was just happy I didn’t fall in the muddy swampy area.

If I had let my mind take over I would have talked myself out of it on Saturday, I would have reasoned with myself and told myself it was too far and what if I had gotten half way around and couldn’t make it back? I would have sabotaged myself. I am done sabotaging myself, it is such bullshit. Life is passing me by and I have a lot of living I want to do. I have goals and dreams and I deserve it all. I am ready to live the life that I create!

Overcoming our Fears...

2010-04-26T07:21:00.000-07:00

Overcoming our Fears…

I have had the fear of having a massage for ages. I always kept on saying to myself it would be one of my weight loss goal rewards. The weight loss just never seemed to be great enough to reward myself with one. My fear was fueled by insecurity. I hated to have somebody see my imperfect skin or the flab. What if I broke the table? I know it all seems silly and I even giggled at the table one myself as I wrote it but it seriously was how I felt. This journey of self discovery and becoming the best ME is all about trying new things, breaking down barriers, conquering my fears and overcoming my insecurities.

Last week I received a bbm from two dear friend’s asking what I was doing on such and such date. After a few questions, I realized what they were up to and I immediately freaked out. I freaked because for a few reasons. The main reason being there was no way this fattie was ready to go and receive a massage

I spoke with one of the gals on the phone and she was so calm, reassuring and just said she would not force me but if I just trusted her she was confident that it would be a pivotal moment on my journey. I promised her I would think about it and let her know by the next morning. It was really odd and I can’t really explain it but from that moment forward I never felt any nervousness, doubt or fear about the massage. I was in!

I am forever grateful for these two ladies, they helped me overcome a HUGE thing and to add to it they gave it to me as a gift. Just thinking about it, I have tears in my eyes. Their generosity is immeasurable, as well as their friendship. Thank you just doesn’t seem like enough. I can’t wait to meet both of them face to face and give them each a great big ol’ hug. Yeah, that is another thing – we haven’t ever met. We have communicated endlessly via bbm, phone, twitter, blogs, etc., however, never made that eye to eye connection. I have always felt blessed for the close friendships I had in my life. My friends are family to me. I never imagined I would experience my heart overflowing the way it is today. The new people that have come into my life in the last few months leave me speechless. The only thing that comes to mind that is remotely appropriate is to say that God is good!

I hope one day I am able to help somebody the way I was helped by my two angels. I want to pay it forward and help somebody get to their next level.

What is your fear and why?

just a little funny about my experience:

***Because in true ME fashion - I have to share this. I didn’t really know what to expect so I showered that morning, put some comfy clothes on and was off. When I arrived the massage therapist explained to me what he was going to do be doing, etc. He showed me the table and how it worked. The only thing I focused in on was the white terry cloth covered head read that my face was going when I was on my stomach. My next thought was, “Oh shit, you dumbass – you have make up on”. Thank goodness I was able to use the restroom before we began I was in the bathroom with the handsoap washing my face so that I didn’t get makeup all over his white headrest.

My lesson learned for the next massage (yep, I said it – I’m going back) no earrings, and no make-up – the verdict is out on the ponytail!

Old Habits Die Hard...

2010-04-21T08:21:00.000-07:00

Old habits are hard to break. On Sunday I woke up early (as I always do) and put on my workout clothes and was ready to hit the gym. It was a beautiful cool spring morning and I ended up riding up to get my car washed before I went to workout. And then the unthinkable (old habits) returned and I found myself in the damn McDonald’s drive – thru lane. I ordered a Sausage McMuffin with egg and a small coke. I will not lie – it smelt so good. I opened it up and took a bite, hmmm! Then I had a moment of clarity and had a little self talk. What the hell was I doing? I had justified it to myself because I had worked out all week and the scale was moving in the right direction. ARE YOU SERIOUS? I ended up throwing my McDonald’s away. Wow, so glad I was able to gain control. I enjoy healthy food, I really do – so why did I even go there? It disgusts me, but I’m not going to spend too much time thinking about it. I just hope I can continue to remain in control. I know that being in the car is a big trigger for me. I know that I need to add fast food joints to my “forbidden” list – simply because I am not strong enough at this point to make good choices when I go to those places. Do you have a forbidden thing? Something that you just can’t trust yourself around?

I then took myself to the Battlefield to walk. I parked near the old Stone House and hit the trail. The hills kicked my ass, but I loved it. I sure would not have won any races but I did it. I kept on bartering with myself. “Okay, see that cannon up ahead – make it to that point, you can do it!” I would make it to the cannon and then chose a different point. I got this! I kept on thinking of my goals and I felt strong. I felt empowered. I forgot all about the McDonald’s. As I was walking back to my car I passed a nice lady who was saying her rosary we exchanged a “good morning” and she stopped and spoke to me about the trails in the area. She was very nice and very informative. She also said something to me that I know she didn’t even realize it meant anything to me but it did. She said – “I go hiking on this trail and over on this trail” and I then realized (duh!) DUDE I’M HIKING, that’s what’s up! I want to be a hiker, I want to climb mountains! Dream BIG!

I got this!

Favorite Vacation Spot

2010-04-15T11:36:00.000-07:00

Mo is still handing out topics - and this one was supposed to be about my favorite vacation spot.

Okay, my topic today was my favorite vacation spot. I love vacation (who doesn’t, right?) and I can’t really think of a bad one. But, I definitely do have my favorites.

I’m a beach girl. I love the water, the sand, the sun, the drinks – everything about it. I love the “music” – the island sounds. YUMMY – just makes my heart sing thinking about it.

I can’t really pick ONE favorite spot, but I definitely can pick a few and tell you why I enjoy it.

Dominica – the landscape of the island is beautiful, the water is crystal clear, the people are beyond friendly, the crime rate low, the tourism low…

Aruba – I love the culture, the language, the island, the beaches, the water, THE MEN (HUBBA HUBBA), the beer, the climate. Aruba feels like home to me. I have loved my time there!

OBX – This is state side and I can definitely think of prettier places BUT the Outer Banks of North Carolina will always ring as a favorite spot for me for the people I share it with. About 9 years ago or so a group of us started going down there every 4th of July week. We rent a big ol’ house, drink, laugh, swim, read, laugh, eat, drink, karaoke, bike, kayak, boat, shop….we do a lot some years and nothing other years but we always do it together and it is the best time! I have many found memories of OBX and hope to continue making more memories. July 2010 – here we COME!!!

this pic cracks me up! we were playing bar golf and this was Hole 9! BAH HA

In Oct. I head down there for a girl’s Getaway with a bunch of ladies I only see once a year and this time in OBX is different but just as special. I love my Getaway girls!

Issues with the Scale

2010-04-14T11:55:00.000-07:00

Issues with the Scale:

I am not sure what gave Mo any ideas on me having issues with the scale…*sarcasm*. Derailing a moment, I am one of the most sarcastic people you will probably ever meat and sarcasm is so hard to pick up on blogs, tweets, or in a BBM or text. So, I think sometimes when people meet me they aren’t really sure what they are getting. (not sure why I felt the need to say that but this is my blog and I just did…)

Okay, me and the scale – I have always had to work on my weight. When I was younger and played sports and was more active than I am now – it just sort of maintained itself. The summer before my freshmen year of college I hung out too much, didn’t move enough and ate too much – I gained the freshmen 15 before even going away to school. Then when I was in school I drank too much, ate too many pizzas, early morning Hardee breakfast runs and was on a fixed budget and did I mention I was lazy so I gained more weight. Somewhere along the line I lost some weight and felt good but then gained it back….so the cycle goes. I have always been the biggest person in my “group” – I have never been a tiny thing. It used to bother me, I now realize I am me and I will never be like that and that is okay for me. I wish I had found that confidence in myself back in college, but I didn’t so…

FAST FORWARD:

I always feel like I am on a diet. In my mind I always thought about it, and I always knew what I was supposed to do, I just never did it quite like I should. I tried to make good choices but allowed myself way too many free passes and definitely approached the whole “dieting” thing the WRONG WAY. I always knew it had to be a lifestyle change but never fully grasped or accepted what that truly meant. I’m a perfectionist by nature and if I can’t do it 110%, I just don’t do it at all. I am SLLLLOOOOWWWLY trying to change that mindset.
Here I am 34 years old and have been overweight my whole adult life. I often get pissed at myself and think – how the hell did this happen, or better yet – why did I let this happen? But all of that is just water under the bridge and that mindset will cause me to keep on spinning my wheels. Damnit, I am not trying to spin my wheels – I want to move forward. I have bigger things waiting for me and that does not mean I am not living my life while on this journey and I know I have been ridiculed and probably will be ridiculed for some of my thoughts on this process. This is truly a personal journey and like the old Frank Sinatra song goes…”I Did It My Way…” I’m doing this. The last few months I have been going up and down and slipping into old practices far too often. I have stood on that scale every Monday morning (who am I kidding – I stand on it everyday but the Monday morning one is the only one that counts) and cussed that damn thing. “SCREW YOU” has come out of my mouth in regards to the scale more than once. I know that I am not a number and I am not defined by a number but I still have quite a ways to go to get into the “healthy” zone so I would be lying to you if I told you that the number didn’t matter to me. If I am completely honest and transparent with you reading and myself – those weeks when I didn’t do well, I knew why…

I am finally at a place where I am okay with my mistakes on this journey. I won’t lie and say I don’t get frustrated with myself but the days of throwing in the towel and just saying screw it, I can’t do it this….those days are over.

I will reach my goals, I will be the best ME!

Day 4 - A Walk in the Park

2010-04-11T13:26:00.000-07:00

Okay, today's topic is: My walk -- I ended up going to the Manassas Battlefield to walk this morning. I went yesterday as well but I went to a different part and it wasn't as hilly and I didn't take any pics. I'm a morning person - so I got up this morning and headed out. The weather was perfect and I knew outside is where I wanted to be....This is Stone Bridge...

I am not very graceful, but I decided I was going to jog up this hill...I did it. I got to the top and I was winded and sweating but I did it! I won't lie, when I hit the top I had to stop and catch my breathe. The walk today wasn't the fastest but I was outdoors, I was taking it in and I definitely got my heart rate up. I didn't take my ipod so I really just was with my thoughts today. I had been listening to some gospel music (not like me) before I got out of the car and I just sort of took in all that was around me. I did a little self talk a time or two when I wanted to quit and I just kept on pushing on. I thought about wanting to go for a hike. I thought about wanting to do lots of physical things that I haven't been able to do because of being out of shape and overweight. I got this! I'm motivated. I thought about my goals. I have motivation - some might think it is silly but it is okay...this is MY JOURNEY!

Looking out over the battlefield from top of the hill.

TUNES

2010-04-10T12:51:00.001-07:00

Day 3, Post 3: TUNES, Music that moves me...

I am an odd duck on this one (okay, I am probably an odd duck on more than just this - but this is my blog and that is what I am saying today!)

Mo told me to post about some of the songs on my ipod and in return get some songs to try out or add.

I have a very eclectic taste in music. Everybody that knows me will tell you I know some pretty obscure songs and for some reason I just know ALOT of lyrics. Music moves me - I find passion in music. Music is my security blanket. When I am sad, happy, mad, stressed, angry - music can make me feel better.

I associate just about every memory to a song. I will never be able to hear "Dreams of Effin an R & B B..." without thinking of @kellyk_C or "Put it in Your Mouth" and not think of @garb76. "One More Chance" makes me remember my trip to Robert Morris in the summer of 1995. And just recently I will never be able to hear "Strokin'" and not think of @slorunnermom.

I know that alot of people need a good beat to feel energized when exercising. That is not the case for me. If I can sing along it energizes me. Good music just motivates me, doesn't have to be the beat. I'm also an equal opportunist. I like Rap, R&B, funk, soul, country, pop, classic rock, Motown, reggae. My true heart is R&B and that is what you will find me listening to the most, but really I love all.

I'm just going to list the top 10 for this Saturday (and I think I just may do this every Saturday!)

* "My Love" - Jill Scott
*"Sumthin' Sumthin" - Maxwell
* "Gotta Get: Closer" - Maxwell
*"Love No Limit" - Mary J. Blige
*"I Love College" - Asher Roth
*"Push" - Matchbox 20
*"Dirty Diana" - Michael Jackson
*"Rude Boy" - Rhianna
*"Under the Bridge" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
*"It's Tricky" - Run DMC

Share some of your favorites please!

Day 3 - BOOYAH!

A Day in the Life of ME!!!

2010-04-10T12:23:00.001-07:00

Okay, here we go...post 2 - day 3. Don't judge! Mo and I talked it out, and she was okay with it. She holds the cards of the rules since she is the winner of the bet!

Day 2 topic is: A day in the life of Kimmie (that would be me)!

Monday - Friday

4:30 am - wake up
4:45 am - out the door
5:00 am - 5:45 am - gym
5:45 am - 6:00 am - drive home
6:00 am - 6:30 am - shower, get dressed, make green smoothie
6:30 am - who knows when -- commute. This is where I talk to @garb76 most mornings and laugh until my stomach hurts, I put on my makeup, eat my cereal or Green smoothie, rock out to tunes!
8:15-4:15 - WORK
4:15 - 5:30 (or later) - commute home. I always call my mom when I get in the car and then I either talk on the phone (don't worry hands free) and/or rock out to some tunes! If the weather permits (above 60), I have the windows open and I am just trying to relax and limit my road rage.
5:30 - 6:30 -- cook and eat dinner

The evenings are a grab bag. On every other Tuesday I work at the scrapbook store from 6 p.m.-9 p.m. On some Friday and Saturday's I work 6pm - midnight. Friday's when I work until midnight are killer.

I typically try to be in bed by 10 but sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. When I have alot on my mind (subconsciously or not) I do not sleep well. I typically wake up around 11:30 pm thinking I have slept a whole night but go right back to sleep. I wake up several more times throughout the night. I learned this about myself a few years ago when I was going through a very stressful time with my grandfather dying, my relationship failing and a financial burden like no other - I learned that my body reacts to stress by being an insomniac. Man, did that ever stink.

Oh, oh, oh - I was supposed to list the shows I like as well...

I am ashamed to admit that I have become quite the t.v. buff and I NEVER used to be. I have considered this summer giving up t.v. just because I am addicted but then I think - that is just crazy talk.

Sunday - Army Wives, Ruby, Extreme Makeover, Brothers and Sisters, Keeping up with the Kardshians, Kendra
Monday - Big Bang Theory, Bachelor, Trauma
Tuesday - 16 and Pregnant, Biggest Loser, Southland, Good Wife
Wednesday - Modern Family - I can't remember what else, but I am sure there is more
Thursday - Grey's, Private Practive, Sober House
Friday/Saturday - nada

I also love just about anything on MTV, Centric, VH-1 Soul could be watched for HOURS, TLC, and Discovery! BAH HA - hey blame it on Mo she asked!

WOW...

2010-04-08T17:35:00.001-07:00

Okay, I could get on here and apologize for not being around and I guess I really should because there are some of you that I have really missed! I really have no excuse - I have been having some of my own personal struggles and I think I just decided to "turtle" as I like to call it. I have missed reading many of your blogs - I think I have figured out what I do. I want to do everything and I want to do it all PERFECT. What ends up happening is that I end up not doing anything because I can't do it perfectly and I just throw in the towel. I will possibly touch back on that subject but for now I have a promise to fulfill - a bet if you will.

Dear Mo, bet against my beloved WVU Mountaineers. I love me some WVU and love WVU Men's basketball even more! If you don't follow college ball - they had a great season. They became Big East Champs and made it to the Final Four for the first time since 1959. I feel connected to them, I screamed when they missed a shot. Cried when they lost a game and celebrated my fool head off when they won. One of my dearest friends and loves of my lives (we won't go there right now) played ball when I went to school there back in the 1990's and that is where my true obsession started. It has been all down hill from there. ***okay, okay - back to the bet*** Dr. Mo, bet me that Duke would beat them. I knew it would be a tough game but I had faith in my boys. They lost. I bet $20 and a blog post everyday for a week. I honestly thought she forgot about the full bet, until she said to me today "Kimmie, you owe me some posts..." DOH!!!!

First in honor of my boys!

I'm still proud, even if you lost and I can't wait until next year!

Okay - so in addition to having to write a post everyday, she is giving me the topics. I have a horrible memory but it was something about my C25k program and how I felt while I was running.

Mo: You owe me some posts...

Me: OH, I thought you forgot those...

Mo: Nope, please share your feelings when running (remember this is not a quote because I can't remember EXACTLY what was said)

Me: I'm not really sure I have any deep thoughts while running besides - PLEASE DON'T DIE NOW.

Mo: I have the same thoughts and feelings.

Me: What I really wanted to say that goes through my mind is "RUN FAT BITCH RUN..."

Seriously, I don't think alot when running. I think that one day I will get to the point where I do, but right now I focus on the time. I hate that I focus on the time but I feel like I am going to fall out most times. I have self doubt and then I have to talk to myself and say "YOU CAN DO THIS - YOU GOT THIS."

Beautiful soul - Lori by name (bah ha - that was for you Kel) has been a huge inspiration and her post today made me cry. Even when I don't believe in myself, I know that she does. I know that I am not alone and that if I have to repeat a week or 2 of the program, it is okay because this is my journey and I am not in competition with anybody but myself.

Kat is the one that started this with me and it just grew from there. There are several folks on twitter that are doing the program now and we are all doing it together (reminder, that I haven't checked in with you all and I am going to do that!) Kat, is the most non assuming, kind soul I have met and I am so glad she has chosen me to travel this journey with her!

Stay tuned for tomorrow's post (remember I have 7 of these)! Mo, is picking the topic so we will both be surprised.

And just for fun, I am always playing music in the background and this is the song playing right now as I finish up this post.

COUCH 2 5k, OH BOY!

2010-03-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

Am I ever a blog neglector?!?!?!?!?! The thing is that I think about my blog all the time. I just never make time to come in here and then when I do – I realize that I am a much better talker than I am a writer. Maybe I should just do a video blog, but then that would be a very scary scary time for all you 2 peeps that read ;) !

I just wanted to pop in to say that me and a few of my friends are going to do the Couch 2 5 K program. None of us are in the same city but we are all going to support each other through twitter, blogs, blood, sweat…you get the idea. Would this be something that you would be willing to join us on? If so hit me up…there is power in numbers. Kat is amazing and so is my bestest Kelly! A few of the others that are joining us, I don’ know but I know I will heart them. I just learned that Erin is doing this as well, and I don't know her but she has a blog and I promise after this program I will know her!

Lori – has been a HUGE motivator to me. I tell her this frequently but I am not sure she knows this or not. She is motivated, consistent and focused! LOVE all those traits. On top of all that she is super sweet! So glad I “met” her.

February 2010 Recap

2010-03-04T11:46:00.000-08:00

WOW, I am late. I swear everyday I say I am going to get in here and blog and something happens that I don’t do it. I wanted to do the monthly recap so that I could look back in a year and really have a documentation of all the little victories along the way.

This is February 2010 recap – better late than never!

* Went to VA Beach for a scrapbooking weekend and had a great time!

* Lent started and I vowed to exercise everyday for 40 days. I love it! I actually love it, I have more energy and I just feel good about myself.

* I also vowed I would drink green smoothies several days a week and I have been doing it. Dare I say I love them? I will have to make a post about them!

*Weight loss in January 2010 kicked butt, not so much in February. I would love to say I don't know why that is, but that would be a BIG FAT LIE. I know exactly why it happened. I got lazy, I went into that whole reward thing. UGHH...moving forward!

*3 lbs. loss for the month but inches are coming off because my clothes are fitting differently.

*I had an epic zit, I know this is not really blog worthy but oh heck, who cares! It was on my nose and everytime I wrinkled up my nose it would hurt like crazy. So glad to say goodbye to that pesty little bugger!

I am WAY obsessed with Hey, Soul Sister by Train. I love it. I could give you so many reasons as to why I love it and if you are intersted feel free to ask me but just in case you could give two shits, I will spare you the reasons!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JV74i4yvcA

I totally wanted to put it up here but had no idea to do it so if you would like to help me with that, I would greatly appreciate it!

And let me finish this with a photo - official February 2010 photo!

*Oh yeah, I am still crushing really bad over the boy! We shall see....

Lots to do...

2010-02-23T10:12:00.001-08:00

My weight loss has slowed down considerably the last few weeks. I would like to say I had no reason as to why this was, but I can't. I haven't been as diligent. I have maintained which is better than gaining but definitely not the direction I want to be going in. For Lent I have committed myself to working out everyday. I can do anything for 40 days, right? I have 7 days of straight exercise under my belt!I have also teamed with my dear friend Kat and Shelli to a 5 day a week committment of green smoothies. Kat did a great write up on smoothies and is the one that turned me onto them. So far I have had 2 this week - so far so good. I can't really give an opinion on the smoothies thing just yet but I know they are good for me. I hope to be able to share a wonderful review of them with you!

Late but not forgotten

2010-02-14T18:23:00.001-08:00

It has been a long day - Just wanted to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day! I'm not a huge fan of the holiday (never have been, even with a valentine of my own) but it is a fun holiday.

Just me being a dork!

Out of Pocket

2010-02-13T02:47:00.000-08:00

I am going to be out of pocket today but I just wanted to publish this here. I don't know what is wrong with blogger and it isn't all the time and it doesn't seem to matter what computer I use but occassionally when I leave comments on blogs or attempt to leave comments on blogs (I think just blogger blogs) it will open window after window after window and there is NOTHING I can do but shut my machine off.

1. I am not ignoring any of you, I just don't know how to fix this issue and it gets so frustrating.

2. If you have/had this issue please let me know if you know how to fix this.

Have a great Saturday!

Be you! Be great!

FRIDAY

2010-02-12T04:06:00.000-08:00

As you know the East coast has been hit hard with snow this past week. I am sad to say it sort of knocked me on my butt as well. I have been trapped in the house (no plow still) since last Friady and quite frankly I never knew it would bother me so much. I have felt lonely, overwhelmed with my own thoughts and just overall down. I don't do down very well so I know that I need to change that around. I am not working today, but I am getting out of the house. In fact I am going to head to the gym here in a little bit. I have craved that physical activity but at the same time I don't want to go - what is wrong with me? I feel very emotional and I am not sure what is going on with me, but I need to change it. I need to get on a path of making myself happy, whatever, that path my be.

This week I have checked my weight and I haven't lost anything. I have not gone crazy with my eating but I definitely have not been as focused as I should have been. As my friend reminded me it is "never too late" and I am back on track today!

Speaking of my friend who is just tons of awesomeness - we have decided to do a visual board. Yep, I am finally going to do it! Me, Kat and Amy decided to do this together and now I am inviting all of you to join us! It will be fun - if we see it, we will do it! I think this will help me on that whole positive thinking thing as well!

I am determined to make today a good day. I am listening to my itunes and jammin' like a fool.

GERD

2009-09-21T16:16:00.001-07:00

I am just sitting here tonight, typing a post and listening to some MUUUUSIC! I love me some music. Right now, my future husband Maxwell is singing to me - but I love all kinds of music. What do you like? Does it motivate you? Music motivates me to MOVE!

At any rate -- sorry to get off on a little tangent. The title of this post is GERD and it is something that has HAUNTED me for the last 7 months. It is a horrible thing to have and I have told GERD we will NEVER ever be BFF's. Back in February I thought I was having a heart attack, it scared the CRAP out of me I even went to the Dr. That is for another post but honestly I had not been in the Dr. so long because A. I never get sick B. I was fat and mortified. Anywho, went to the Dr., had blood work and a few other tests. Found out I suffer from GERD. I effin' hate GERD, have I said that already? I now have this irrational fear that I am going to fall over from a heart attack. I also knew that my weight was bad for me, but I can't honestly say I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Since February 8, 2009 I have thought I was having a heart attack everyday at some point. I know this is silly. I have even had a friend tell me - "if you were going to have it, you would just have it." I know it is irrational but sometimes it does get the best of me for a few moments.

Sooo...of course I want to lose weight for all the vanity reasons. I want to lose weight to feel comfortable to get back out there in the dating world (broke a long relationship last year) but most importantly I want to lose weight to feel good. I want to physically feel well.

The worst is that nobody knows what I feel like so I just don't talk about it. They just don't get it.

Enough with that GERD biz.

I had a great day within 1500 cals and I worked out for 30 min. on the elliptical and 3 min. on the stairmaster.

GO!

Accountability, End of Story.

2009-09-17T10:50:00.000-07:00

I have attempted this weight loss journey so many times I can’t even count. I am sure those around me are just so sick of hearing about yet another venture. This time around, I am a little older and a little wiser. I am no longer losing for an event, trying to do exactly what somebody else is doing, etc. I am doing this for me, my way. One of my late grandfather’s favorite songs was “My Way” by Sinatra and as I type this - how fitting to this journey I call my own. I have always been inspired by others weight loss success stories. I feel inspired by them. I feel connected. I do not have anybody around me that has ever faced the same struggle I am facing. Nobody in my family is obese besides myself, therefore, I do not think anybody truly understands my struggle. I know that I have love and support, but there is just no way that they can fully understand. I’m not mad – just the way it is. Just another reason it sucks to be fat!

I have thought about starting a blog for quite some time but for whatever reason I haven’t’ done it. I wasn’t ready to truly start, and the main reason was that I was just so self conscience about my writing. I will just put that out there right now, I am not a great writer. That is okay. I am doing this for accountability not for a grammar test. Over the past few months I have read so many inspiring blogs. People that are truly genuine and they have achieved great success.

This tiem I am not going on a diet. I am going to eat less and move more. Sounds simple enough, uh? This time I believe that I can do this. I have a lot of motivation, reasons, goals, etc. We won’t go into all those now – I have to save some for a later date.

I am keeping a food log and I am logging my exercise. I am not sure if I should do that here or not, I guess I will figure that stuff out along the way.

GO!